Tuesday, February 24, 2015
The Four Essential Commentaries for Feedback
In workshop, after a reader has read, you take 15 minutes or so to re-read his or her piece while ANNOTATING it with extensive commentary. Write all the notes you can think of, ask questions, underline or star things you like, make marginalia notes about things you don't get or don't like. You will be handing this back to the author.
When you've finished your detailed notes, you need to take a moment to compose your thoughts and break down what you think is most important about your response to the piece. A big part of this is reflecting to the reader what your experience of reading their work was. A second piece is highlighting one or two things that stuck out to you positively and one or two suggestions for changes (not necessarily improvements; your suggestions could be exploratory). Grosso modo, your four comments should be:
1. Describe, in two or three sentences, what your general impression of this piece was and what you feel are the words that most clearly describe it.
2. Give an example of one or two of your favorite things about the piece. Quote!
3. Give an example of something that made you uncomfortable, confused, or dissatisfied in the piece. Quote!
4. Give a suggestion for a substantial change or expansion to be made. (E.G. "Develop a whole conversation where she tells him she's going to Vegas; consider making him reveal that he is actually gay) and explain WHY you think this change would be interesting or useful (don't be gratuitous or random).
When you've finished your detailed notes, you need to take a moment to compose your thoughts and break down what you think is most important about your response to the piece. A big part of this is reflecting to the reader what your experience of reading their work was. A second piece is highlighting one or two things that stuck out to you positively and one or two suggestions for changes (not necessarily improvements; your suggestions could be exploratory). Grosso modo, your four comments should be:
1. Describe, in two or three sentences, what your general impression of this piece was and what you feel are the words that most clearly describe it.
2. Give an example of one or two of your favorite things about the piece. Quote!
3. Give an example of something that made you uncomfortable, confused, or dissatisfied in the piece. Quote!
4. Give a suggestion for a substantial change or expansion to be made. (E.G. "Develop a whole conversation where she tells him she's going to Vegas; consider making him reveal that he is actually gay) and explain WHY you think this change would be interesting or useful (don't be gratuitous or random).
Kevin Young Imitation Poem
Ode to Portland
I want to be artisanally
rendered from the belly
of a farm-raised pig
and cured into bacon
with the shavings of organic
hemp grasses perfuming my flesh
with aromatic smoke; I want to ink
mysterious Native American symbols
onto my muffin top while
displaying it over my locally
sourced jeans; I want to watch
the raccoons hunt my heritage breeds
of chicken as the rain falls down
and mold grows
in the eaves
of my mind.
I want to drive my Subaru
to the mountain in my North Face jacket
and tell legends of an Indian princess
turned volcano and her spurned lovers
I want to live free or die
on a bicycle, I want to agitate for squatters' rights,
I want to buy skunk bud at my
local organic popsicle stand,
skate home to my housemates
and strum a banjo while the pickles
brine.
I want to be artisanally
rendered from the belly
of a farm-raised pig
and cured into bacon
with the shavings of organic
hemp grasses perfuming my flesh
with aromatic smoke; I want to ink
mysterious Native American symbols
onto my muffin top while
displaying it over my locally
sourced jeans; I want to watch
the raccoons hunt my heritage breeds
of chicken as the rain falls down
and mold grows
in the eaves
of my mind.
I want to drive my Subaru
to the mountain in my North Face jacket
and tell legends of an Indian princess
turned volcano and her spurned lovers
I want to live free or die
on a bicycle, I want to agitate for squatters' rights,
I want to buy skunk bud at my
local organic popsicle stand,
skate home to my housemates
and strum a banjo while the pickles
brine.
Creative Writing 2/24/2015
Kevin Young's "Ode to the Midwest" on p. 327 uses the phrase "I want" along with humor and cliched images of Midwestern culture to describe a cultural identity or place. Think about where you are from. What are some of the images the rest of the world has of this place? Write an "Ode to ____" in which you playfully invoke some of them while remaining in the voice of longing or desire.
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